The Beginning of the End

It is strange to think that the winter quarter is coming to an end, and with it, the end of my project on my depression and anxiety; though the project is not complete in the long term, it will soon be complete for the purposes of this class. I recall in early January when I first proposed my idea for this project, recall mid-September when the idea first came to my mind. When I first thought of doing this work I made a list of everything I wanted to capture, all the things that help and hurt me, all the people who have been there for me along the way. It seemed massive and overwhelming. How could I possibly capture everything I wanted in a single quarter, just ten weeks? I touched on this when I wrote my project proposal at the beginning of the quarter, how I was unsure if I would be able to tackle the enormity this series seemed to be in the time allotted. 

And yet, here I am, preparing my final presentation of my work in a few short days. It feels slightly surreal. Working on this series has been quite the journey for me, a therapeutic journey full of pain and pride, ups and downs. When I started this project I sort of viewed it like my depression itself—overwhelming, massive, exhaustive, endless; yet now, being nearly done, both the project and its subject feel much smaller, more manageable. Looking at all the images lined up together it is almost as if I have made a guidebook for myself to remind me of what resources I have, the people and things I can turn to in times of distress. Instead of feeling completely consumed by my depression, I can now take a step outside of myself and view it as something separate; my depression is a part of me, but it is not all of me.